(>‿◠) Funny Mothers Day Quotes,Poems,Cards,Messages

I think you are looking for funny Mother’s Day quotes, you came to the right place as we have gathered for you dozens of funny sayings. Be cautions, some of them are pretty black humor and you should reconsider using them to congratulate your mother :) Funny mothers day messages and funny mothers day sayings  where funny mother quotes are shared.Some of them are simply funny quotes you may share with your friends, but your mom could be insulted,so be sure without it share some Humorous Quotations For Mother Day. So, happy reading and happy Mother’s Day!


We are sharing some funny quotes with her and throwing all her tensions away. Given below are some funny quotes that you can read out to your mom on Mother's Day and funny mothers day poems for mom. funny mothers day quotes from daughter and the cards funny mothers day quotes photos. enjoy a moment of shared love and laughter. If you include one or more of these funny quotes in your Mother's Day card, you will surely get your mom as well as the other family members laughing on the special day.

Funny Mother's Day Quotes,Poems,Cards



A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. 

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after. 


All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his. - Oscar Wilde,"The Importance of Being Earnest"

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease. 

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more .

I married your mother because I wanted children; imagine my disappointment when you came along. 


I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. 

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. 

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. - 
Mothers are all slightly insane. - J.D. Salinger


Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - 


Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.-

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.

My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the 
extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay. 

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - 

My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it. - 

Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law. -

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. 

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. 

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. -

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. 

"When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway." - Erma Bombeck


"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." - Phyllis Diller

Funny Humorous Mother's Day Cards,Sayings,Messages



"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." - Oscar Wilde

"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman, twenty minutes to make a fool of him." - Helen Rowland

"There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." - Chinese Proverb


"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." - Calvin Trillin


"Any mother could perform the jobs of several air-traffic controllers with ease." - Lisa Alther


"My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay." - Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

"As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied." - Oscar Wilde


"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back." - William D. Tammeus.

"Mothers are all slightly insane." - J.D. Salinger

"A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever after." - Peter De Vries

"My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance." - Tim Allen

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" - Milton Berle

"The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing." - Kin Hubbard

"My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it." - Buddy Hackett

"Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own". - Aristotle

Maternity is a matter of fact; paternity is a matter of opinion. - American Proverb
"You're not famous until my mother has heard of you." - Jay Leno

"I'm a mother with two small children, so I don't take as much crap as I used to." - Pamela Anderson

"My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh." - Bob Monkhouse

"You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't Fool Mom." - Captain Penny

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